Birthmothers are amazing!!

We hadn't heard from Brady's birthmother in over a year. We sent her a letter and some pictures in March for her birthday. Well, she wrote back and we got it this weekend!! Most of our family and friends know that we established a great relationship with Misti when she was pregnant with Brady. We met her in early October and she wasn't due until the end of January. So we got to spend quite a bit of time getting to know her. After Brady was born, we lost consistent contact and then most recently had lost contact altogether. I often found myself thinking about her and worrying about her. Getting her letter was WONDERFUL!! She seems to really be doing well! She has worked hard to earn her GED and she even sent me a copy. You could just sense the pride she had in her letter. She's engaged and starting cosmetology school. She sent us an 11 page letter updating us on everything in her life. She has really overcome some very hard times and I am so very, very proud of her! She's had to cut some ties even with her own family and she's made some very mature and difficult decisions. I could just tell she had matured so much since her last letter. The difference is just amazing and hard to explain.

She wrote a letter to Brady this time. She had never done that before. It wasn't anything to "heavy", but it was communication from the woman who gave him life! I never knew something so simple could be so moving. I could hardly read it to him through the tears! She just wrote simple things like telling him what her favorite color and food was and asking what his is. She refered to me as his "mommy" which just filled my heart with emotion. She also wrote that Brady's older sister, Tonseana is 8 years old now and asking questions about Brady. She wants to be his pen pal. She sent updated pictures of herself and Tonse and I showed them to Brady. Brady has other pictures of them, but has had a hard time really understanding who Tonse is. He knew right away who Misti was in the picture. So, I tried to explain that Tonse was there when he was born and that she was his older sister. So, every once in awhile he'll say something like "Hey that girl in the picture with Misti, she's still my big sister isn't she?" So, I'm trying to help him understand as much as he can at the age of 5. I know one day he'll get to meet her and I know it is important for him to grow up knowing about his siblings. He was very excited to color pictures to send to them both and was very concerned about whether or not the mailman would know where to deliver them.

Misti also sent me a Mother's Day card, from her, to me, as her mother figure and repeatedly told me in her letter that I was like a mother to her and that I was the best mother figure she'd ever had and that she was grateful for me. WHAT!!!!????! If she only knew how eternally grateful I am for her. She is just amazing. She spoke in her letter of the bond that Ricky and I have with Brady and that her bond with Brady is something totally different and she knows that and is grateful that he has us. I also had sent her some pictures of Izzie so she'd know that Brady has a little sister. So, then she wrote another letter explaining why she placed Brady for adoption and then offered to talk to Izzie when she's older if we want her to. She said she knows that Izzie won't be able to talk to her own birthmother so maybe Misti can help her understand why her birthmom might have placed her too. I just sat in amazement! I know that unless you have first hand experience with a birthmother placing her child with you, it is very difficult for most people to understand this relationship and realize the blessing that we have with Misti. Six years ago we started this process hoping for a child and no connection to a birthmother. Wow, were we naive! Thank GOD we learned we needed this connection! Thank GOD for Misti and her unbelievably unselfish heart!